Yesterday I posted memories.
It was rough, to the point of painful, to look at pictures from years ago when we were happy.
Old wounds still seep, even when I thought they were healed.
Today on this one year anniversary, I thought I would share some of the past year of grief.
Last year, I posted this in a fog of grief and confusion.
120 comments. I am overwhelmed by the love and support from my community.
This was my Instagram post signing off for the evening.
Not truly realizing what the next 364 days would be like.
watching his dad’s funeral
spending time with nana
allowing ourselves to be sad
reading cards and letters of support from friends
indulging in comfort food
finding joy with his social worker
finding comfort in routine with daddy Rob
preparing a balloon release on his birthday (12.24)
visiting his grave for the first time
writing his dad letters
always feeling safe to cry
This was our grief project. It started out documenting life after the death of a parent.
It was raw, difficult, joyful, confusing and emotional.
After documenting grief for awhile, Davin asked if the project could change.
As an aspiring dancer, he wanted to document his dancing through his grief.
We created a bucket list, small and large, of places to visit that he could dance.
And thus began our #danceeverywhere project
Dance on a competitive team.
(first performance with his first competitive team, PEAK)
Dance in an alley.
Dance with a partner. Pas de Deux.
Dance in our very own house (bought 07/2015)
Dance in the Street.
Ballet in nature.
Dance in a fountain.
Dance on the 16th Street Mall.
Dance in a river or stream.
Dance at the Zombie Crawl 2015.
We have big goals- Legoland or Disneyland, The rain forest in Washington, the beach.
Some are a little smaller like a haunted house and his second year at competitions.
This has been our year in grief.
We went back to say hello.
leave letters and a photo (with flowers)
spend some quiet time talking
and laying with him
Davin said, “that was the most beautiful grave”
and of course, dance everywhere. Including for his father who never got to see him dance but I know would be proud.
and say goodbye, again.
For one more year.